Online dating apps

How to sound like a stalker in fewer than 10 words

Ever received an opener that pinpointed exactly where you are? And I don’t mean like on happn where people who you’ve been in the vicinity of pop up as potential matches. I mean on an app which doesn’t have this feature.

Not sure what I mean? How about this…

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The bit that’s blanked out is the specific train station I went through pretty much every morning and every evening on the way to and from work.

Dude, that is not the way to let someone know you’ve seen her around. That is the way to freak her the f*** out.

What’s wrong with something more generic like  ‘do you work in the business district?’ In fact, even ‘Hi’ or ‘Hey’ would be a better opener than that. And that’s saying something.

Note that the app is trying to be helpful at the top with it’s ‘Make a good first impression…’ It’s helping you do this by literally feeding you something to open with. Shame he didn’t read that bit. Or maybe he did but his version said something like ‘Make a good first impression. Freak her the f*** out by sounding like a stalky creep and telling her EXACTLY where you’ve seen her’. Who knows.

Fortunately I moved offices not so long after, which meant I also changed train stations and didn’t have to keep looking out for some random dude who likes to freak people out on apps by pinpointing their exact location.

Unfortunately…

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You guessed it, this was where my new office was located. WTF? I should really get a less distinctive hair style. Or a mask to wear over my face. Or maybe I should just stop using online dating apps…

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